


Bailed Out

by l2set



Series: Fast Food Universe [4]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Bad Undercover Names, Comedy, Established Relationship, Fast Food, Fluff, Hanzo Gets Arrested, Hanzo and Sauce, M/M, Mccree to the Rescue, Pettiness, Police Stations, Police officers, Sequel, loving relationship, slight homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 11:51:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14544132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/l2set/pseuds/l2set
Summary: Hanzo finds himself under lock and key while on an important supply run.





	Bailed Out

**Author's Note:**

> the anticipated sequel to: [Bright Eyes, Chicken Fries](https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/14293224) & [Loud Cries, Pizza Thighs](https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/14437977) \- if u havent read them, u should. they are explicit though.

"Babe," Mccree called out, walking out of the bedroom shirt off and pants unbuttoned. He stood in the middle of the empty living room, scratching his head. "Hanzo?"

Hanzo had left Mccree passed out on his back on the bed, sated and warm. He had been mumbling about needing to get more supplies, which Mccree was sure he didn't mean condoms and lube - Hanzo had had more than enough for a week's stay delivered to the house. He had left nearly four hours ago, and it was unlike him to be gone for so long. 

Mccree wandered around the living room, looking for his phone. Hanzo had a habit of taking it to play games on, lamenting about how he rather not use his own battery up on frivolous things. It was the same lame excuse he used when taking any of Mccree's things when he could easily use his own. 

He found Hanzo's phone instead, with three missed calls from himself in the last hour, along with an unknown number. Mccree dialed the unknown caller, knowing that it had to be Hanzo, because no one else outside of the two of them would know this number. The phone rang three times before it picked up.

"Bennettsville Police Department, Martha speaking, how may I direct your call?" The nasally voice said,a slight twang to her words, and Mccree blew out a big breath. 

"I received a call from this station about twenty minutes ago," Mccree started, trying to see if he could locate anything of Hanzo's to figure out his fake papers. "I didn't get a message. My name is Samuel Cashman."

"Ah, Mr. Cashman. That must've been your friend," Martha replied. "I'll transfer you to Officer Tompkins."

"Thank you." The line went to silence and Mccree could hear the slight click of the transfer taking place. He put the phone on speaker and went through Hanzo's phone, trying to get any information on who he might be before he had to talk to the officer.

"Officer Tompkins."

"Yes, I'm Samuel Cashman, Martha transferred me over because I received a call - "

"Yah, your friend Mr. Hambly," Tompkins started, accent the same as Martha's, and Mccree nodded to himself.  _ Joey Hambly, _ one Hanzo's least used IDs. "We have him here in holding."

"Joey is in holding? What happened?" Mccree asked, visions of Hanzo beating someone up in an alley flashing through his mind. 

"There was an incident at the local Wendy's when they refused to give him twenty extra sauces. He started yelling about them knowing who he was, and that he could  _ destroy them all if he willed it _ ."

"Aw geeze," Mccree said, walking back to the bedroom to grab a shirt and socks. "Has he been arraigned already?"

"They are taking him in about twenty minutes." 

"Alright, I will be down there soon. Thank you." He hung up the phone, and brought up the directions to the police station. 

Mccree was going to kill Hanzo. He tugged a shirt on over his head, and then his socks on his feet. He tucked Hanzo's phone in his back pocket, grabbing his wallet. He zipped up his jeans, and headed to the front door. He put on his boots before snagging the keys off the hook, and locking the door behind him as he made his way to the police station.

* * *

 

The Bennettsville police station was smaller than Mccree expected. It was an ugly brick building, with a smaller parking lot filled with cruisers. There were a few spots on the busy street dedicated for cars of other personal, and that was it. The station was still the largest public building in the town though. He walked through the front doors. 

The inside of the building was no better. It was dark walls, with dark tile. The walls lined with pictures of fallen officers, and the most wanted from the FBI. Mccree took long, purposeful strides up the front desk. There was only one woman working there, and it had to be Martha from the phone. 

"Martha," Mccree started, putting on his gentlest voice and softest drawl. "We spoke about forty-five minutes ago, you transferred me to Officer Tompkins."

"Of course!" Martha exclaimed, her mid-western twang more obvious in person. She was just as old as Mccree thought, long grey hair and tasteless, rimless glasses. "Officer Tompkins should be back soon - your friend was none too happy about having to the arraignment."

“Do you know what he’s being charged with, Martha?”

“Hmm, let me see - “ Her hands moved fast on keyboard, and Mccree could see reflected in her glasses the information being brought up about Hanzo. He let out a long sigh. “It looks like criminal mischief, resisting arrest, and assault.”

“What a - “ Mccree cut himself off. “Joey can have a temper sometimes.”

“Well, it looks like he doesn’t have any other offenses. And hopefully this will straighten him out a bit. Officer Tompkins should be back soon with him - you can take a seat at his desk.”

“Thank you, Martha,” Mccree said. He wandered in the direction she pointed, the bullpen filled with desks and various officers working. 

Mccree located the desk with the nameplate that said Tompkins and sat down in the chair on the opposite side. He pulled out Hanzo’s phone and went through the apps, looking for some dumb game to play that he knew he had to have. He pulled up a Waldo style game, and got to it, trying to keep his mind off the fact that he was going to have to pay bail and fines. He hoped Hanzo opted for a lawyer that would get him out of this mess easily. He didn’t want to have to call up Winston  _ or _ Angela and explain this shit. 

Hanzo looked terrible being walked back into the bullpen, and past Tompkins desk. His hair was a mess, and his shirt looked like it was covered in blood but it smelled like barbeque sauce. Mccree barked out a laugh as he went by - hands cuffed behind him, and being manhandled into the tiny cell on the other side of the room. Mccree could feel his glare as he was he locked back up.

“Good afternoon, I’m Officer Tompkins. Mr. Cashman?” Tompkins asked, sitting down in his seat. He opened up his desk drawer and pulled out a file. Mccree could see it has Hanzo’s fake name across it, and it wasn’t too thick, thankfully.

“Yup,” Mccree answered, the  _ p _ popping. “How bad is it?”

“Well, I’ll be honest with you - bad,” Tompkins started. He opened the file. “Mr. Hambly’s lawyer however, was able to get the charges reduced. He will have to pay a fine, and once he is processed, you can take him home. I would not feel right releasing him without some supervision.”

“How much is the fine?” Mccree asked, digging into his back pocket for his wallet. He wanted the situation resolved as quickly as possible. 

“It is twelve thousand dollars, and there is a restraining order being filed against him from the Wendy’s and the workers,” Tompkins answered. Mccree let out a loud groan. “He will have thirty days to pay the fine, or he will be arrested and have to complete a jail sentence.”

“How long?”

“Between six months and two years,” Tompkins stated, matter of factly. Mccree did quick calculations in his head, trying to decide if it would be better to leave Hanzo to do his time, or go get twelve grand to save him from his fate. He rubbed his eyes.

“Can I talk to Joey?” Tompkins nodded, and stood up. Mccree followed him to the little locked up room they had put Hanzo in. Hanzo was pacing in there, Mccree could tell he was flustered and getting angry. Tompkins banged on the door, startling Hanzo. 

“Mr. Hambly, your friend wants to chat. I’ll be over here, you can talk through the door,” Tompkins said. He stepped off to the side, giving no illusion of privacy. Hanzo walked up the door, and Mccree pressed as close as he could, wanting to try to keep this as private as possible without having to switch languages.

“Joey,” Mccree started, and Hanzo snorted. He was so bad at picking out fake names sometimes. “They tell me it's either twelve grand, or six months to two years.”

“Tell me you have the money,” Hanzo demanded. Mccree bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing, Hanzo talking slowly to keep up with his overly flat Americanized accent. 

“Joey, it’s twelve grand. It’s not like I have that laying around,” Mccree told him. He could see Hanzo’s jaw clench and tick, a clear sign that if he could he would punch Mccree. “I gotta see what I can put together.”

“Samuel,” Hanzo gritted out, seething really. “I cannot stay here for six months.”

“It wouldn’t be here, Joey. They would probably move you over to county jail. I bet you’d do just fine,” Mccree said, winking at Hanzo. Hanzo snarled at him, and aborted a movement to punch the glass on the door. “Your temper is what got you into this mess.”

“ _ Samuel Duncan Cashman, _ ” Hanzo started, using Mccree’s way of scolding, and Mccree couldn’t hold back. He let out a loud laugh, causing half the officers to jump in their seats. “Get me released.”

“Officer Tompkins, when can Joey here be released?”

“When his paperwork gets processed, and he can be released into your custody - “

“See? Soon, but I have to run some errands first. I will be back in a few hours,” Mccree told him. Hanzo closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. “I’ll see you real soon, Joey. Just sit tight.”

Mccree turned, and Tompkins lead him back through the bullpen. Mccree thanked him, and left the station. He had to go gather up twelve grand, and get them both paperwork to leave the country - there was no way that Joey was going to be able to get on a plane right away to go back to home base. He cracked his neck, and his knuckles, trying to figure out the best way to get the funds together. Mccree didn’t want to go through their personal accounts for this kind of transaction. That money was for emergencies.

* * *

 

Hanzo was going to kill his boyfriend. He watched as Mccree left the police station, seething. He didn’t think that Mccree would leave him to go to county jail for six months, but he wasn’t going to place a bet a on it. Mccree could be petty at the worst of times, and Hanzo knew that he had been more aggravating than usual in the past week.

Hanzo did firmly believe that if Mccree let him go to jail, he would break him out within a reasonable time. Mccree was petty but loving, and it was something that endeared him to Hanzo. He would still need an appropriate form of revenge for Mccree for just leaving him at the station for any longer than necessary. Mccree should’ve been prepared to get him out immediately. 

Hanzo refused to sit down on the small bench they had in the holding cell, instead standing arms crossed and facing towards the bull pen. Most of the officers ignored him, but he noticed that his arresting officer, and a much older one kept their eyes on him. It seemed to make them nervous that he wouldn’t sit, and kept staring. Trying to will them work faster on his paperwork so he could leave. 

“Once your friend gets back, Mr. Hambly, you will be free to go,” Tompkins told him, almost startling Hanzo from his zoning out. He hadn’t even seen him move from his desk.

“Why can’t I just go now?”

“Due to the situation, I think it would be best if you were released into the custody of someone else - make sure you can’t get into any more trouble,” Tompkins explained, and Hanzo wasn’t sure if it was his accent or if the officer was actually attempting to be condescending. 

“I don’t understand,” Hanzo said. “If I am able to be released - “

“I am sure that your lawyer explained that you had to be released into someone else’s custody for the next twenty-four hours. It is part of the agreement with the judge, along with just the fine you are getting away with,” Tompkins told him. Hanzo could tell now that the man was just being condescending. 

“Samuel better hurry up.” 

“Mr. Hambly, that kind of attitude is what got you in here the first place. That, and an excessive need for sauces,” Tompkins laughed, and rapped his knuckles on the glass of the door. “Your friend will come when comes.”

Hanzo held himself back from answering, not sure what kind of reaction Tompkins would expect from saying something about coming. Mccree would be coming, if only by his own hand for the next week or so if he didn’t hurry his ass up and get Hanzo out of the station. Hanzo turned his face towards Tompkins, the man looking like he wasn’t expecting any real reply. He sighed to himself, starting to count down the time for when Mccree would return. Only thirty minutes had passed, and Hanzo knew Mccree would drag it out for at least another two hours.

Four hours later, and Hanzo’s legs were starting to hurt. He hadn’t moved in that time, and his knees were protesting the decision. He was going to make Mccree carry him out of the station and care for him completely when they got home, and it would be soon. He could hear Mccree’s laugh from the administrators desk, relief flooding his system.

“It looks like your friend is here, Mr. Hambly,” Tompkins said, opening up the door to the holding cell. He waved Hanzo through, shutting the door behind him. 

Hanzo stood there, unsure if he could move or not. Tompkins was watching him closely, Mccree stalking through the bullpen. The other officers actually turned their heads to watch him, heading straight for Hanzo. Mccree didn’t even spare a glance to officer Tompkins as his picked up Hanzo, squeezing him tight. 

“Good,” Hanzo started. “My legs hurt, carry me.”

“Of course.” Mccree turned around, shifting Hanzo into a more bridal carry than just crushed against his chest. Several of the officers were staring at them, and two of them stood up, looking shocked. “What.”

“Why are you carrying him?”

“Am I not allowed to?” Mccree asked. Hanzo rolled his eyes, and pressed his face against Mccree’s chest. He wanted a nap.

“It’s weird - you don’t carry your friends like that unless you are rescuing them or something,” Another older officer asked. Several others chimed in with agreement. 

“Oh,” Mccree said. “Well, I’ve touched his weenie too, so.”

The officers stared, and some recoiled at the admission. Mccree shrugged, and tightened his hold on Hanzo, walking through the bullpen and out of the building. He continued walking directly to the apartment, a twenty minute walk easy. Hanzo didn’t move the entire time, passed out from his grueling ordeal.

**Author's Note:**

> so?? yeah ??? what do we think ??? i had fun with this one. i fucking love this little fast food universe. tell me what u think please. totally not beta'd. all mistakes are my own.
> 
> remember, please come visit me on [tumbles](http://jellybeanchili.com)!


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